HAPPY APRIL AND HAPPY SPRING! Itʼs the time of year for renewal and new growth all around. I have had a lot of new growth situations over the last few years, including remodeling a home with my parents. I am the only child to my lovely mom and dad. I grew up in Belmont Shore, California, but left when I received my full scholarship for volleyball to the University of Colorado, Boulder. And...never went back. My parents stayed—happily—in California for 32 years until everything changed five years ago. My parents made the amazingly unselfish decision to move here to be closer to me as they approach more advanced ages. It made sense to do this, as they are both retired and I still have my interior design business in Santa Fe.
We lucked out and found the perfect property for a “multigenerational living” situation. (Often referred to as multi-gen homes, multigenerational living situations usually mean a house full of grandparents, parents and their adult children, or extended family members and in-laws.)
As with all new situations, there have been ups and downs and adjustments for expectations from each other, but overall it has been fairly ideal. I never have to go back to California, and we got to create a dream home compound together.
It took almost two years, but we managed to remodel a four-bedroom house that allows for us all to have our own space and maintain a level of independence from each other while still participating in each otherʼs lives. It is a brilliant concept and one that is being realized by more and more Generation Xers like me. I highly recommend it as a consideration when one is dealing with aging parents. We have uniquely different design styles and lifestyles, but we have managed to meld it together to have a happy day-to- day life. Doctorʼs appointments, surgeries and running of errands have all been much easier for everyone, especially when weʼre able to just walk out to the car together. And away we go!
My parents came up with the idea, and as I said it was as much for me as it was for them. As of 2022, according to a Pew Research Center study, 1 in 4 adults live under roofs with two or more generations. Thatʼs a number that has almost doubled since 1971; back then, 7% of Americans were living in multigenerational homes. By 2021, 18% are (for a total of almost 60 million people). And most of these multi-gens are out West, where nearly 21% of Westerners live multigenerationally. Whatʼs even more surprising, and in some ways downright shocking: More than 72% of us now living as multi-gens plan to continue the multigenerational lifestyle long-term. Not because they have to, because they want to.
This living structure has extreme advantages. I will always be close by to help with anything my parents need, and it is so much more convenient for me to check in and get them where they need to go. (And again: I donʼt ever have to go back to California whenever they might need me. Or want me.)
Here are a couple things to consider when choosing to go down this path: One: Be extremely patient with each other. I have been living on my own since I was 17, so I have my way of doing things and my parents have their way of doing things. I recommend separation of space that is adequate enough for each party to have their own design style and their own way of moving through each day.
Two: Accept and embrace the differences in the way everyone chooses to do things. It is highly unlikely that I, at 54, am going to suddenly change the way I live my life, and for my parents, who are both in their 70s, it would be a long shot that they would change their day-to-day habits. Luckily, my parents are pretty mobile and still garden, still cook their own meals and can still drive a car. We have dinner together a few times a week, and I am able to help them with the things they cannot do on their own.
Multi-gen—It really is a great living model. And one I hope more people will consider as their parents age. It is also very interesting getting to know your parents again from a different perspective. And it can be a learning experience if you let it be. If you have the opportunity to do this with your aging parents, remember, you only have each other for a set period of time, so you might as well make the most of it!
Buffy Kline can be found atWGD Interiors in Santa Fe.She is an ASID ProfessionalMember, an NCIDQCertificate Holder. Sheis also a licensed interiordesigner in the state of NewMexico with over 25 years ofexperience. She has workedacross the design and realestate development sectors,with high-end residentialhomes being her mainfocus. Client-centric designis at the heart and soul ofwhat Buffy and her much-appreciated collaboratingartisans, vendors andpartners bring to the SantaFe community. Contact herat: bkline@wgdinteriors.com.
